DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle recently crashed my car while borrowing it. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the car has significant damage that will be expensive to repair.
I expected him to help cover at least part of the cost, but he refuses, insisting that since it was an accident, he shouldn’t be responsible.
This has put me in a tough financial position, and I’m stressed about how I’ll pay for the repairs. On top of that, the situation is causing tension in the rest of the family; relatives are taking sides, and now no one wants to get together.
I want to handle this fairly and maintain a good relationship with my uncle, but I also feel like it’s unreasonable for me to cover everything alone. I’ve tried bringing it up calmly, but he brushes me off or makes excuses.
I don’t want this to affect our relationship in the long term, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of. How can I approach him about taking responsibility without escalating the conflict or creating more tension within our family?
— Bad Uncle
DEAR BAD UNCLE: Get an estimate for the cost of repairs to your car and present it to your uncle. Tell him you need him to split the cost with you as he is the one who had the accident with your car.
Honestly, he should be paying for the whole thing as he was driving your car.
If he refuses, you may have to take serious action by taking him to small claims court. He should bear responsibility for this expense. Even if he or other family members get angry, do your best to force him to help pay for the damages.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Summer is over, but I feel like my staff is still working at less than full capacity.
Every year, I give them time off during the summer, which usually includes half days off on Fridays and shorter hours. The expectation is always that they will crank it up when the fall comes.
It seems, though, that everyone is asleep at the wheel, so to speak.
I ask for projects to be completed or for someone to follow up on some work, and I find myself asking three and four times before getting a response. This is frustrating. It feels like I’m being penalized for giving them some much-needed time off this summer.
How can I get them to crank up their energy?
— Ramp It Up
DEAR RAMP IT UP: Host a cheerleading session with your team. Highlight good things that occurred this summer, including time off to enjoy the season. Point out what’s ahead, including projects, pitches and anything else that is on the horizon.
Connect the dots by letting them know that they are integral to the success of the business and you are counting on them to give it their all.
Do your best not to chastise them for being uninspired. That will make them less interested in getting energized. Your job as the leader is to motivate them to want to work harder.
If you have the budget and inclination, you may want to add incentives, such as the first person to reach a particular goal gets a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or something else that they value.
If they can’t turn it around, perhaps you’ll need to consider changing your policy on summer hours next year.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.