DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors have been driving me up the wall lately.
They’re constantly loud late at night, sometimes blasting music, other times just having loud conversations that go on for hours. They’re a younger group and seem to have people over nearly every night of the week, and the noise carries right through the walls.
I’ve tried to handle it a mature and polite way; I’ve gone over and asked them nicely on multiple occasions to please keep it down, especially during the week when I have to get up early for work. Every time, they apologize and say they’ll be more mindful, but nothing ever changes.
To make matters more frustrating, they have a dog that barks constantly, sometimes in the middle of the night, other times early in the morning.
It’s really affecting my sleep and my ability to relax in my own home. I’m exhausted, frustrated and starting to dread coming home.
Is it time to involve the landlord or file a noise complaint? I’m worried that might just make things worse.
— Too Loud
DEAR TOO LOUD: Now is the time to speak to your landlord. Explain the situation and ask for help.
You can also look up the rules around noise in your area so that you feel confident in your right to complain.
If the landlord is ineffective, that’s when you file the formal complaint with the police department. Will your neighbors be mad? Yes, but nothing else is working.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been looking for a fresh start for a few years. I didn’t know exactly what I needed to change, but I felt disappointment when I’d reflect on my life.
One day, I decided to change my location on LinkedIn and began getting some great job offers. For a time, I’d take interviews; when I’d get offered a job, I’d get cold feet and decline.
In the last round of interviews, I decided to go for it!
I had to move within a month, and I am now in a brand-new city with a brand-new job. As you may have gathered, though, I can be a bit of a nervous wreck. How do I build a new social life outside of just co-workers?
— Fresh Start
DEAR FRESH START: First, congratulations on pushing outside your comfort zone to expand your life. That took a lot of courage.
It’s OK at first to spend more time with colleagues than people who don’t work with you. The truth is, most people’s lives revolve around work and family. Pay attention to the people at work so that you can consciously choose who would be good to welcome as friends.
Beyond work, think about your interests and explore them in your town. What leisure activities do you enjoy? Museums? Art galleries? Rock climbing? Whatever it is, look to see what’s going on in your new town that interests you, and sign up for it. It’s totally fine to go alone.
When you get there, look around and notice who else is there by themselves. Be courageous and walk up to people who seem interesting. Go for it!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.